It’s not enough to draw lines or mould forms. My internal world demands a more embodied expressive experience. This is work that can only be made after a life, it requires courage and exposure. The vulnerability brings an awakening, an aliveness. Performing rituals in ‘the wilderness’ of open spaces brings live exposure, a feeling state no longer confined in tissue or congested thinking.
The rituals available to me in my own culture don’t serve me well…I feel I want to reach back through time. Meet the ancestors in my imagination, communicate with a universal consciousness if there is such a thing. Speak with God. Offer myself to the elements, have an immersive experience in the earth, touch the fringes of nature and challenge my own sanity. These are days of reckoning, an attempt at balancing the ledgers in soma and psyche.
Depression is ‘the death feeling’ I want so much to suppress it, but I wondered if I might pass through it. If by going to the core of the wroth and my own self-abasement I might find the living light of my soul.
Rituals for Aliveness will take time, the edited film to be shown in 2020
Original film-still courtesy of @teatimeandtide