A film still

by Tracie Peisley and Nicholas Godsell

‘Nothing seemed to touch the depression I experienced, I saw myself dead everywhere. I lay down in the snow, naked and felt the ice burning my skin. Following this imperative need to come through the death feeling to a feeling of aliveness I decided to not avoid terror but to go to meet it, to seek out something in the wilderness that might meet me.

Working intuitively I undertook performances which I began to think of as rituals.

They never turned out as I expected.

When the stills came back I was stunned. My existence in these states so elegantly evidenced.

Each performance caused a swell of awareness. A shifting. A poetry to be born from a trauma transformed. Regulation…disregulation, humour…deep respect for my courage and thanks for Nicholas silently accompanying and recording.

The footage continues to be distilled to its essence.

I think its an important piece of work for anyone recovering from trauma. It has something to contribute to the discussion on what we can do with depression.’

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